When a strong woman loves and loses

high heels

A strong woman is an independent woman. She knows how to solve problems on her own, recognizes and grabs opportunities when they come, and never settles for less than what she wants. What she wants always boils down to what she thinks she deserves. She is responsible. She is undoubtedly strong and she is designed to overcome all adversity.

A strong woman has confidence in her talents and recognizes her potential. She always  delivers the best presentation, and always succeeds at whatever she sets her mind on achieving. She can and will turn the impossible into reality  if she wants to. The only limit to her success is her imagination.

A strong woman is a very rational woman. She can argue gracefully and knows which battles to fight. For the times that she has to argue, she does so with so much passion. She will only fight for the things she strongly believes in and will never get tired doing so. She will fight injustice and partiality with all her might.

A strong woman does not fear rejection. She had encountered a lot of rejections along the way and perfectly knows how to turn those into positive opportunities for growth. She does not fear change, either. In fact, she welcomes change. If she wanted to, she would trade a perfectly stable job in a familiar place for a life of exciting uncertainty somewhere else, even if that means she has to start all over again.

A strong woman is a good and kindhearted woman. She has a heart as big as her brain. She knows very well that what matters more in life are not her achievements but how much positive impact she had in other people’s lives. She is not simply pursuing her own happiness but more importantly, delights in the happiness of the people who matter to her.

A strong woman is a very committed woman. She will celebrate with you through the good times and stick it out with you through the difficult ones. She will move mountains just to keep her commitments. She values her relationships deeply and will make time to show it to you.  She will treat you as she would like to be treated – with respect, honesty and sincerity. And she will never run out of energy especially for the people she loves.

When a strong woman loves, she will do so with all her heart. Not every man has the wit, character and ability to charm her but when she finds a man worthy of her time, she will make time for him. A strong woman is a great multitasker. She can handle a relationship very well and work on making her own dreams come true at the same time.

But a strong woman is not a perfect woman. When a strong woman loves and loses, she feels pain at a magnitude unknown to many. Her strong spirit will endure but her heart will  be shattered by rejection. Her rational mind will understand but her heart will be torn to pieces when she is taken for granted. Her independent character will prevail but her heart will be pained, silently wishing for someone to take care of her for the times that she’s weak.

But prevail she will. Because among all her strengths, one stands out – her ability to discern when a fight is lost. Her relentless attitude will exhaust all possible ways to win and she’ll be the first to know when she’s defeated.

To a strong woman, time is very much like a currency. She does not like wasting time. When she loves and loses, she will allow herself to grieve. Then, she will stand up strong and ready once again.

 

How to apply for a Schengen Long-Term Study Visa in the Philippines

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Basilica di San Pietro, Vaticano. A bit of inspiration to keep pushing for that visa. 🙂

The web is abundant on resources about applying for Schengen tourist visas but there isn’t much detail about getting a long-term Study Visa with Italy as the entry point. This is my personal experience in getting it from the Philippines.

There are two ways of doing it. Either you apply directly to the Italian Embassy or via its authorized third party provider, PIASI. The faster route is to apply via PIASI as it will take you several months just to secure an appointment with the Italian Embassy. Remember, Italy is such a popular tourist destination, with hardly any lean travel season, thus, the volume of visa applications they receive is rather huge. The application I will be describing here is my experience with PIASI when I applied in July 2015.

Step 1. Call PIASI to Book an Appointment

I called their Premium line via my Globe mobile number. During the time that is the only way to secure an appointment. It is Premium for a reason, as it costs Php32 per minute. No problem of waiting too long for appointment dates, they can schedule one for you right away, after checking your intended date of departure. I applied quite early, July 1 for a targeted departure of Sep 21.

Step 2. Submit all requirements on the appointed date

I went to the VIA Center in Chino Roces Extension. Complete address is given below:

3rd Floor, Allegro Center

2284 Chino Roces Extension

Magallanes, Makati City

Once inside,  a guard will give you a queue number. He will also give you a photocopy of the list of requirements for your desired visa. Bring photocopies of your documents so as not to be inconvenienced. They also have a photocopying service at that area beside the guard which is rather pricey. Here are the requirements which I have submitted for my long-term study visa.

  1. Visa Application Form (Click here)
  2. Passport-size picture
  3. Passport
  4. Letter of Acceptance from the university
  5. Hotel booking
    • This will serve as the temporary accommodation in the absence of a permanent accommodation which had to be arranged upon arrival in Italy. This is important as they really have to know where you will be staying the moment you land at Italy.
    • They did not say that I book for a week, I just thought that it was sufficient time for me to find a permanent place in Italy. They didn’t question the length of time of my temporary booking anymore.
  6. Proof of sufficient means of subsistence while in Italy
    • In my Letter of Acceptance from my university, it was indicated that I will be getting an Erasmus+ scholarship which will finance my studies. I also submitted the Acceptance Letter from my program which contains all monetary awards.
    • On top of this, I had to submit a Bank Certification indicating my cash in bank to cover my expenses for the 1st month of my stay in Italy as I intended to arrive 1 month before the start of classes, after which, my funding will take effect. Refer to the following for the necessary amount needed depending on your length of stay.Screenshot 2016-04-04 23.18.55
  7. Flight Booking
    • To establish the departure date and airport of entry
  8. Health Insurance
    • My Letter of Acceptance also served as my health insurance as it also covers my insurance in Italy

I was told that processing takes 10-14 working days. Here, they also asked me for the delivery address of my passport. They did not get my biometrics as it is not required for long-term study visa applicants maybe because those were done when I applied for my Permesso di Soggiorno (Permit to Stay) once I arrived in Italy.

Step 3: Pay the visa processing fee

Once all the documents are in order, you will be instructed to pay the visa processing fee at the cashier. If I remember it correctly, I paid about Php1,400 for my transaction.

Step 4: Personally receive the delivery of your passport or authorize a representative

Once approved, your passport will be delivered at the address you indicated. Take note that only you or an authorized representative (should have an authorization letter with your signature and copy of your ID) can receive your passport. As for my case, the first attempt at delivery was unsuccessful because I did not leave any authorization and I was not home when it arrived. I learned about it when I called PIASI asking for the status of my visa. So, better make sure that you leave a letter of authorization for somebody else to receive it on your behalf if you cannot guarantee that you’ll be at home all the time.

Along with my passport, they also returned my Acceptance Letter from the university.

Note that the whole process was completed without me ever going to the Italian Embassy. It was actually a very smooth one for me.

The things I learned at 28

Let me share with you a speech I wrote to inspire the students from my former high school. Some notes:

  1. Pisay = Philippine Science High School
  2. UPCAT = University of the Philippines College Admission Test

_ _ _

Every time I get introduced in front of a big crowd, I somehow cringe when I hear my credentials being read out loud, because I really feel that it’s a totally different person who’s being introduced. Not that those were untrue, no. Well, I gave them my resume and yes, everything said about me came from a well-polished resume which I, myself, authored to impress whoever’s looking at it, mainly directed towards employers. But I’m not here to impress you, that’s why I am very excited for this unique and special opportunity for me to share with all of you, the real story behind that resume, stories which are not necessarily full of triumphs. I don’t expect you to agree with everything that I am about to share with you, in fact, as Pisay students and would-be Pisay alumni, I expect you to challenge them, although, I would be really happy if you at least get to take home one small bit of learning from me, then I can say I was successful in this task.

Now, let me tell you my story.

Fifteen years ago, I entered Pisay Bikol. That was in 1999, when the Backstreet Boys and ‘NSync and Westlife were famous. I belong to the 2nd batch of students who graduated from this school. My batch had the distinct privilege of having to transfer from the very first campus in San Rafael, Tigaon to the rented campus in Partido State University and then finally, here in Tagongtong. You probably heard about how hard the living conditions were back then, when the school was just starting, and most probably you’re fed up with those stories, so I’m not going to discuss that but will rather talk about myself in my speech.

I came from a public elementary school in Virac, Catanduanes. In Virac, I happened to belong to this special class of students who were selected to engage in a more science- and math-oriented education in primary school, so that’s how I was able to pass the PSHS exam.

When I entered Pisay, I had zero experience with computers. I literally do not know how to save a document in a folder, much more create a folder. I don’t know how Sir Sevedeo Malate managed to find all my files in Computer Science 1 because I do not know where I saved them and what the file names were.

When I entered Pisay, I had no idea about integers. I was very thankful that Mr. Arnel Bermejo did not see that as a major setback but kept the challenging math questions coming. He did not adjust to me, I worked double time just to get to the level where all others are.

I did not have prior experience in drafting, either, but I am grateful about Sir Miguel Lavadia’s fearsome remarks, and thanks him for throwing our mediocre drafting plates outside the classroom, into the canal, because he made us realize that we could be better. Ma’am Christine Obusan’s taste in research and technical writing was quite hard to please. No one’s ever prepared for that. I lost count of all the sheets of paper I have wasted just to get her elusive approval. Again, this was because she encouraged us to do better.

What I’m saying is, what I brought with me here were just the most basic foundations of science and math. Luckily, I did not forget bringing along with me that hunger for learning.

Lesson number 1: You made it here because you are capable. Do not ever entertain thoughts saying you’re not well-equipped, because I believe you are. Do not tell me you’re not ready to compete and succeed, because I think you are and you can. Take it from someone who didn’t know how to save files in a computer. Let us let our teachers do their magic on us and mold us into the best students we can be. Our teachers are so used to challenging our abilities, let us challenge them, too, so that together, we can contribute in building this culture of maximizing our gifts, because true learning is very powerful. Strive for nothing less than excellence. You don’t stop at getting high grades. You don’t stop at passing the UPCAT. You don’t even stop when you’ve truly learned, but you start doing something about that learning.

For the graduating batch, let your college professors do their thing and make sure that you maximize the learning you’ll get from them. Because believe me, you are very much capable to do great things, things beyond what your current imagination can reach. Trust yourself. Listen to your heart. Your heart knows your deepest desires. It can direct you to where you truly want to go. It is the GPS which points to the direction of success.

Yes, I was salutatorian, but that does not mean that I haven’t experienced failing in an exam. A Social Science exam from Ma’am Delia Casasis was unforgettable. I got 4 points out of 40 or so items. You know what those 4 points were for? For my efforts in writing and for the ink of my pen. So, yes, I had my fair share of failures in exams and in life, in general.

The fact that you’re alive, that’s actually a guarantee that you’ll fail at some point. And I’m not even talking about grades, here. But bear in mind that what’s really more important is what you do after you fail.  I urge you to accept failure fast. And get out of it faster.

Lesson number 2: Acknowledge failure when it comes your way. There’s no way you can beat it by avoiding it or working around it. You have to come face-to-face with it.  You have to go through it to overcome it. Again, accept it fast so that you may get out of it faster. Do not dwell on your mistakes. Do not dwell on your failures. Remember what we do with our calculators when they seem to malfunction? You get a pin, find the re-set button at the back and push to re-set. Just re-set yourself and you’re ready to go. Don’t forget though, that you’re better than the calculator. You are, after all, human. Because once the calculator re-sets, the memory is emptied. Do not empty your memory when you re-set your own self, because what you learned when you failed will be the key towards conquering the next step, onto the next failure.

Sometimes you can overcome failure by yourself, but most of the time, it is a lot easier doing that with family and good friends. Pisay is one family who’s forever ingrained in your system. Because you get to go through a lot of pressures together, the relationships that you formed here are very much solid and really go beyond the school’s gates.

When I was in first year, we used double-deck beds in the dorm. I got the bed space on top and this girl from Camarines Norte happened to be assigned to the bottom bed. During weekends, she would always go home while I get to stay in the dorm with my fellow islanders. Every weekend, I make it a point to clean the floor under our bed, because I was very OC about it and there’s literally lots of time to do that because we did not have TV at the dorm then.

Unfortunately, this girl from Camarines Norte did not know how to clean her own stuff. Sometimes, I see used socks thrown under the bed. Other times there’s a fungus-infested rotting instant noodle broth or an open can of sausages (without the sausages but with the bad-smelling broth inside). I remember myself hating her during the first few months of my first year in Pisay, because I just couldn’t stand it.

I don’t exactly remember how it happened but we were able to talk about it. And I was amazed at how she listened and changed. Grabe, naging mas malinis pa siya sa gamit kesa sakin. And she was very consistent. After having been able to talk, we eventually discovered that our values and principles are very much aligned and we actually became the best of friends, pretty much like sisters.  I even took the UPCAT in Camarines Norte because I felt closest to home when I’m in their house.

She’s now in the US, about to finish her PhD in Chemical Engineering and all through those years after Pisay, we continued to be each other’s confidant and source of strength. I would rush to her when I feel that everything about my life is falling apart. She comes to me when she needs direction. We continued getting each other’s opinion before making huge decisions in our respective lives. I actually told her I was going to tell you about this, how proud I am about our friendship that started here in Pisay 15 years ago. That girl from Camarines Norte, she turned out to be our class valedictorian. The valedictorian is the salutatorian’s best friend. Pretty cool, right?

Lesson Number 3. Value your relationships. Value the friendships that you have built here and those that you will build in the future. Your huge talent, intelligence and extraordinary abilities are meaningless if you do not know how to keep true friends and give importance to the people who stayed with you through tough times, the people who really matter.

When I look back at the life that I have lived so far, those 28 years, I would always say that deciding to enter Pisay and convincing my parents to allow me to do so was among the best decisions I have made. When you graduate from this school, your diploma will say that you belong to this special pool of gifted students who received special training in the sciences, stamped with bragging rights. Very nice, right?

But, please don’t let it all end there. Don’t let it all end at the prestige that being a student or an alumnus of this school brings. We owe our education to the Filipino people. Let us not waste the hard-earned money of our taxpayers. Let us all be grateful about this unique and rewarding experience that is Pisay. And when you find yourself being too occupied about dreaming or using your education for your own selfish intentions, remember how taxpayers have sacrificed their own comforts to fund your education.

I’m not sure if everyone here has seen how the average Filipino employee struggles to fit inside a very crowded MRT in Metro Manila, just to get to work every day. They literally go through one-hell-of-a-ride. With the taxes these people pay, they can conveniently get themselves their own cars and buy some level of convenience in commuting. But they have no choice, they have to pay the right taxes and contribute to nation-building. Some of those taxes, they went to you.

Lesson number 4. So, please, do not ever forget that there are people you don’t know who are sacrificing their comforts for you. And I hope someday, you will be able to help them, too.

How to Apply to an Erasmus Mundus/Erasmus+ PhD Programme

So you finally decided to go after that PhD and do it somewhere far and beautiful like Europe. One of your options is to shoot for the Erasmus+ (formerly Erasmus Mundus) PhD Program.

Globe

First things first. What to study? You can find the list of all programs and their respective websites here. People get easily overwhelmed by the number of choices so I suggest that you seriously allot some time to read the ones which interest you. Totally ignore those topics you know nothing about and be very patient in going through all the information provided to you. Also, the deadline for each program differs, so take note of them as well. Normally, the call for applications open in September and close around December. There are programs like mine which close in January but rarely it can still reach February for some.

In Erasmus PhD, we get to choose the topics we want to work on, and those topics have universities assigned to them. You can apply for up to 3 programs. Normally, within one program application, they will also ask you to rank your preferred topics.

My application experience was a bit unusual in that I bravely targeted just one program, Sustainable Industrial Chemistry (SINCHEM), because I was very specific regarding the topic I want to work on. To me, it was I get into SINCHEM  and do this topic or I don’t get the Erasmus PhD anymore. Luckily, I got in. But yeah, know very well where your skills lie and if you are passionate enough to pursue it.

STEP 1. APPLICATION SUBMISSION

Don’t forget to do due diligence in completing the requirements specified by your program. They are serious with disqualifying people who have incomplete applications. In my program alone, there were 170 applications received but 4 were immediately declared ineligible due to some issues with the documents they submitted. Here are the documents I scanned and submitted online for my application:

  1. Transcript of Records (English)
  2. College Diploma (Original language and English translation)
  3. Master’s Diploma (Original language and English translation)
  4. Passport ID page + passport-size picture
  5. Motivation letter
  6. Summary of Master’s Thesis
  7. TOEFL test results
  8. Curriculum Vitae
  9. Two letters of recommendation

I know, plenty, but just patiently go through the hassle of gathering all these, send it to them and patiently wait for their response.

STEP 2: INITIAL ASSESSMENT

All you really have to do here is wait. They will rank all applications based on the documents which were submitted and also release the scores along with the shortlist of candidates moving on to the interview stage. For my batch in SINCHEM, the initial shortlist was about 20 people.

STEP 3: SKYPE INTERVIEW

I was rank 10 in the shortlist that’s why I really knew that I had to get as high a score as possible for my interview in order to qualify. There were only 6 slots available.

My panel consisted of 4 professors. I would say, it was a technical interview. I prepared by re-reading my master’s thesis with all my heart. I had to review it because I was working in the industry for 4 years when I decided to apply so some if it slipped my mind already. I also read about some related topics within the program.

I was glad that I was only asked about the stuff I had experience about, like photocatalysis, so I was quite happy with the interview. But yeah, they really asked very specific questions, like how to know which oxidation state of copper is present in a sample.  So you get the idea. Here, I would say, is when my actual hands-on experience in my research played a very important role in sealing the deal.